Cherokee Sage Woman

Ever wonder what 'force' is behind the name you carry all of your life? (Unless of course you go the Hollywood route & change the moniker).
What possessed your parents to choose the label that would follow & define you all of your days on this earthly plane?
I have not a clue where my mother obtained my name. I am #6 of 8 kids, so it's not like this thing was new to her. Every other child is named after a relative, except for the final spoiled progeny who was named after a movie star. (Whatever!)
So now in the autumn of my life, I am asking questions like.. wha?? I've queried all the relatives, near & far.. nada. Did she read it in a book, was it a Divine assignment, or was she just so tired after the delivery she asked a nurse what her name was & scribbled it on the birth certificate? I will never know.. the parents took that secret to their graves.
I was known as 'Sandy' for the 1st 11 yrs of my life. SandyGaye to my daddy, of whom I was his pet until the aforesaid spoiled little moviestar name-stealing child was conceived. Then I was booted to the curb like a cur dog. No, I'm not bitter.. ;o)
My maiden name was Ash.. so you can use your imagination, of which it won't take much.. to come up w/ what I was called all thru my school years. Speaking of that phenomenon.. what is it that makes 1st & 2nd graders have to (by elementary school LAW) make a derisive nickname of your christian title? So of course, they came up w/ 'Sand Bra' (??) Ass for my nickname. Sometimes changed to "Mashed Potatoes", as the case may warrant.
However, that wasn't as bad as my poor little sister.. Sally. Yep, she went thru yrs of being 'Silly Ass'. hehe Payback for always having a birthday party, when I never even had my own cake until I was THIRTY-FIVE!?
Again, no bitterness on this end..
At age 11, I felt I was entitled to a more luxurious & royal name.. so I began signing my super secret diary as 'Alexandria Gayleen Von Ashe'. Who wouldn't love that name?
At 12, I realized I could never afford to have the name changed so I may as well play w/ the epithet I was given. I learned to write in large loopy letters, to heck w/ the Palmer Method. And I dotted the 'i' of Sandi w/ a big fat heart.
Yes, 99% of the rest of you went thru that stage as well. But I didn't know you then. And it scares me now that some people still sign their names that way.
Grow up.
At 15 I had a personality crisis & knew I had to come up w/ my own special spelling of this name which felt like 1/3 'guy', 1/3 beach discription, & 1/3 drunk Irish policeman. So I went to Sande. And it's served me pretty well. Computerized gym machines called me 'Sand' & that was cool. If the Phoenix children could bear names of 'nature' then I could too.
Later on in life.. multi-marriages later, as I tired of electing for new last names.. I considered legally changing it to a single word.. maybe after my favorite city at that time San Diego. But how would I spell it? Sande-ago.. sanDeago.. SandiAgo? I lost too much sleep over it, & the idea cooled.
Recently I had a numerology reading & was told that nothing good would ever come of my life if I continued to use the spelling Sande. Wha?? Scared me so bad, that when I got the Metaphysical degree, I opted back to the proper Sandra. (Which always reminds me of being in trouble w/ my mom.. SANDRA!)
I don't think parents research enough what baggage their children will carry around at their behest, over something so precious as a name. How can Kitty Litter's mother sleep at night?