- Name: sandegaye
- Location: Tellico Plains, Tennessee, United States
I am a spiritual being having a physical experience. I love delving into the inner world & learning all I can about why I'm here & where I'm going. My mother, now transitioned to another plane, was a Cherokee shaman. She taught me the meaning of 'Namaste'.. meaning 'I recognize the God in you', and 'Nokomis'.. meaning 'Walk in Beauty', a Navajo term, that tells us to walk in balance with all of earth. My father, also transitioned, was a fun-loving Irishman who taught me the joy of risktaking, traveling, & living life to its fullest. I have hopefully taken the best of their offerings in forming the 'me' I am today. I am the mother of six, grandmother of five, stepmother of 2 more & step-gram for 6 more. My cup is full & running over..;o) My goal is to live 'juicy'!
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Thursday, July 31, 2008
This 'n That
I think they're all out to make me look really really old. How dare them be as old as I only 'feel' these days? I can recall when I was a kid & Mama told me she only felt 18 on the inside. I didn't have the heart to tell her that white hair & wrinkles did not a teen-ager make. I think I was about 12 or so. The ensuing 48 years have brought understanding to me. I will be 60 in December, but in my heart I'm 34.. 18 was already taken.
Today I started going thru boxes of old pictures. A daunting task, let me tell you. I have at least 8 huge boxes of them. It was fun tripping down memory lane.. throwing out the 5K pics of random sunsets & mountain peaks. People, WRITE on the backs of your photos! Future generations will be throwing these things away by the droves, if they have no idea who the loons are in the frames. So save a landfill, & preserve a memory or 2.
My favorite pics of course are of my wedding to Dan the Man. Even after only 7 years passage, I love looking at the excitement, the fear, the 'promise' in each others eyes. And of course seeing the kids & grandkids going from newborn to present age.. all a luck of the draw, since my photos are all lightly tossed together in the boxes. I'd love to get all their snapshots placed in books for them, to give to them while I'm still breathing. That may or may not happen.. depending on my air supply at age 90, I think.
Photos give you the sense of continuity.. seeing generations past, present & assuming a future. I have often said that if the house were on fire, I would grab the pictures first. (I'd never planned for there to be 200 lbs of them). I suppose I'd have to fetch the computer as well, since I have even more of them filed there. The dogs & cats look a little nervous when I make statements like that.. like 'who will save me??' So here's hoping it never comes to that. They were good lil pets..
After listening to my bro-in-law's Celebration of Life service, it also got me to thinking about what I'd want said & done at my own 'event'. The last will & testiment is long since out-dated.. most of the things I was giving away, have already been given. And the songs I had picked out are passe. So I need to rewrite that script, you know? I know I want to be cremated, & I know I want Angi to sing a certain song.. but I'm also thinking about maybe having a little slide show of some of these pictures.. fun times, sad times, it's all good in the end, eh?
But I promise.. no unmarked sunsets & mountain peaks.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Mama Golden Girl.. Estelle Getty
by F. Daniel Kent
Picture it: America. 1985. Three well-known actresses were cast as a group of widows living together in a home in Miami.
The stellar line-up included Rue McClanahan, Bea Arthur and Betty White all of whom had played well-known roles in other previous sitcoms. In order to round out the cast, the producers were looking for a final actress to play the part of Bea Arthur’s character, Dorothy’s curmudgeonly mother, Sophia.
Estelle Getty had auditioned for the part and been turned down because she looked too young three different times. Finally, convincing the producers that she could carry the role, Getty took the part and went down in history as “Ma” and the Golden Girls were born.
Getty served the role as surrogate mother for an entire generation of woman and gay men who were enraptured by the theme of empowerment that the show embodied. A role, in fact, that Getty seemed born to fill. Before filling Sophia’s orthopedic shoes, Getty had already served as Harvey Fierstein’s mother in the award-winning stage play “Torch Song Trilogy” where she originated the part that the late Anne Bancroft would make famous in the 1988 film of the same name. Fierstein had written the part for Getty at her request and he outdid himself scripting the part.
During her long career, Getty went on to become the archetype of strong, empowered mothers playing several high profile roles as mother to Cher, Sylvester Stallone, Kim Catrall, Barry Manilow and the entirety of the GLBT community -- which she was vocally supportive of throughout her life -- but she would never surpass her crowning achievement: Sophia Petrillo.
In her later years, Getty stopped making appearances due to her failing health and eventually passed on in the early hours of July 22, 2008.
From the first time most people can remember seeing her perform onstage in Torch Song Trilogy all the way up to her final roles later on in her life, Estelle Getty was looked upon as a mother-figure for thousands of people the world over. She served cheesecake when we were down and told funny stories that made us laugh. She comforted us when we needed it and when she wasn’t aiming her barbed tongue in our direction, we loved to see others fall under its razor sharpness.
We laughed together. We cried together. We took comfort in the knowledge that no matter what was happening in our lives “Ma” would always be there, and in our hearts she always will. Estelle Getty has exited the stage, but Sophia? Sophia will live forever.
We have no doubt that the angels in heaven are enjoying a big slice of cheesecake and gossip alongside her right now.
On behalf of every young gay boy who tuned in every Saturday night, thank you for being there, “Ma”. Thank you for a lifetime of laughs than can never be replaced. We miss you, but your memory will live on into the ages and your greatest gift to us—Sophia—will always be there to remind us of how much we loved you.
Thank you for being a mom, but most of all thank you for being a friend.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thar's a Bar on the Loose!
This is what is running around loose in my neck of the woods!
It's not uncommon to spot one of these guys in the forest. It's true, a bear does sh*t in the woods.. But please, not in my back yard!
A few months ago, one visited & left scratch marks on my friends truck.. also tore off a side of the bird feeder.
A few weeks ago, one bashed out the rest of the feeder, as well as scratching up the bark of a tree (about 8 ft up)
Needless to say, I haven't been refilling that feeder.
We are on the edge of a Black Bear Sanctuary, here in the Cherokee Forest. So every deranged & crazed bear trapped in the state, is brought here & released.
They come around looking for berries, trash, rednecks.. whatever..
The neighbor called last evening & said the bear had been visiting his yard each night, & his dogs had ran it off each time. Somehow I can't see my chihuahuas doing a whole lot of running anything off. Even the feral cats yawn in their yapping faces.
Neighbor says I shouldn't be taking any long walks away from the house, until this guy is captured or scared off. (So there goes those plans for the 5K up the mountain..ha)
Dan is out of town, & I am hearing every crackle & pop during the night. We have firearms here in the house, but my knowledge of them is so scarce, I'd probably end up just throwing them at the bear.
Guess I'll have to depend on the guardian angels to keep the 'bar' at bay.
Where's a bear-whisperer when you need one?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Things Like This Make Me Sick..
When will we take the badges away from the bullies??
And yet MORE bullies in uniform!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Just got back from a relaxing long week-end in Savannah, GA.
What a gracious southern lady she is! I can never get enough of the soft accents, the spanish moss laden oaks, the fantastic architecture, and beautiful artwork everywhere.
For Dan, it was a walk down memory lane. The condo we rented was right beside the hospital where he entered the world. Directly across the street from where he biked & played as a kid.
We visited the old cemetery where his granddad & father were buried.
Life is a continuum, isn't it?
We aren't on this earthly plane for very long.. but the life we leave behind through our children & generations to come.. leaves our stamp forever.
I read a great quote today, & paraphrasing it, 'We do not lose our light at death.. we simply turn off the lamp as the dawn breaks'.
We're still here in spirit form.. just a new sort of 'light'.
Maybe I went on too many haunted tours in Savannah.. ;o)
But I find it comforting to know that we don't 'die'.. we simply change our energy-fields. How cool is that?
Thanks for the good times Kenny, Darla & Dustin. And thanks to Angi for being a most excellent dog-whisperer, & keeping safe care of Mo & Tessa.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Growing up in the '50's..
And I pity the man whose job it is to stand there & make sure nothing breaks. I assume that's his job, as I've never seen him do anything else.. other than retrieving the odd toy or bent tool for who-knows-what-reason.
More than him.. I pity his wife when he comes in at the end of his stank day. I hope she has an outdoor shower installed.
So, we're driving home.. & I had this childhood memory pop into my head & it made me smile. I asked Dan, 'Do you remember those old metal ice trays that we had as kids?'
'And on hot days like this, we'd take out a tray, empty those fat cubes into a tea towel..'
'Then smash the shit out of them with a balpeen hammer!'
He always finishes my sentences.
'Yeah.. it was an instant snow-cone. Especially good if you had a little kool-aid to pour over it.'
It's nice to be married to someone whose childhood exacts your own. His was as poor/rich as ours was.
I can think back to when I was 6 or 7.. no air conditioning, just an osculating fan in the corner. We had to have daily naps (so we couldn't catch Polio & live out our lives in iron lungs).. and I'd pick a place in front of the fan, laying my face on the cool linoleum.. & fall right to sleep.
My, how the creature comforts have changed.
About this age, my dad bought my lil sis & I a bike (for $2! The kid needed movie money) It had no brakes however.. so we learned to cope w/ stopping in our own ways. I dragged my feet to brake the thing. This was never comfortable in the summer, when we were shoeless. My sister would ram the big tree in the front yard. I'm sure if we checked the bark on that old tree today, it still has places missing on it.
I still ocassionally try my hand at bike riding. It's never pretty.. & I still drag my feet.
My summer evenings were spent outdoors playing endless rounds of 'Mother May I?', 'Red Rover', 'Crack the Whip', 'Statue Maker' & various other limb twisting games. Then as it darkened, the lightning bugs would come out & we would do our part to get them placed on the endangered species list. Filling jars, smooshing them into each other's hair for special effect, unBuddhist like things such as that.
And when Mama called us from the front porch.. we were never ready to give up that one last chance of 'Hide & Seek'.. anything to keep us out with our buddies, cousins, brothers & sisters.
But to bed we headed.. 4 of us girls in a double bed.. always turning in synch with one another, always trying to avoid the bedwetter.
I wouldn't trade one memory..
Monday, July 14, 2008
Psychoses, Phobias, & other dark terrors
Take my older sister, who is claustrophobic. No doubt this caused her a lot of terror as a child growing up in a crowded house, w/ brothers to tease her & a dad who liked to hold one down & tickle them. Breathe, breathe..
As she grew older, she couldn't sit in the backseat of a car. Then couldn't sit in a crowded theater. Now she can't get on a plane at all. I'm sure that elevators will be next. They were for my dad anyway. He couldn't even drive thru tunnels.
I don't suffer that particular fear so much. Arachnaphobia, oh yes.. Ophidiophobia, yes, yes. But those basic fears are in our evolutionary chain.
I have weird phobias, which are affecting my social life. I don't like talking on a phone! I used to blame this on not having had a home phone when I was growing up.. theerfore missing out on that rite of passage as a teen. But good grief, it's 2008.. & I still avoid those puppies like the plague. I wonder why??
I know that it worries me that I may be interupting someone's day if I would call them, so I do the less pressured thing, & email.
I also have an aversion to driving. This is fairly new, because I use to drive to calm myself when I was 1st working as a nurse. Now I think I'd choose a root canal over driving on any freeway. Will this evolve into my becoming agorophobic? Little old lady w/ a houseful of cats in her hermitage?
I used to have a t-shirt that said 'If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room'. And I believed it. Now, not so much. I kind of enjoy my safe haven.
Maybe that's all part of the aging process.. & my entry into the realms of the Crone, the sage woman. The one who lets it go, lets it flow.. dances her dream & enjoys the flight.
You younger gals can take up the adventure stick. Just watch out for the phones & cars.. ;o)
Friday, July 11, 2008
It's been a busy month,up here on the mtn top.
We bought an RV.. & if we could afford the gas, we would just enjoy the hell outta that.
My sister & bro-in-law came to visit.. that was way fun.
We spent a week in Jackson, MS. Always a hot & sultry time there. Next month we'll be taking Unicoi (the RV)& staying in her for the week.
I lost a brother in law to cancer.. he is missed tremendously. Many prayers of consolation to my sister..
The Koi in the pond are ever growing. Named Eenie/Meanie/Meinie/Moe.. Knick/Knack/Patty/Whack. We are currently missing 'Whack'. I think he found a crevice that he couldn't escape from.
The feral cats are growing by leaps & bounds. Mamacat is preggers again. Sigh..
Her current kittens look about 2 months old.. how often do cats come into heat? Jeez.
We're headed to Savannah on Thursday.. can't wait! Kenny, Darla, & Dustin will also be there.
That's about it on this end. How 'bout you?