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Friday, January 13, 2006

Ah Sammy.. You So Funny. Make Me Laugh Short Time.

Sam Alito..

"Have you been watching the Alito Supreme Court nomination hearings? The Democrats are upset, they're crazy, they're already accusing him of giving vague, contradictory answers. And Alito was on that, he shot back, 'Maybe, maybe not.'" --David Letterman

"Supreme Court confirmation hearings are under way for Judge Samuel Alito. It's pretty interesting. Democrats want to know his position on privacy, while Republicans want to know his position on prison terms for bribery." --Jay Leno

"The American Bar Association gave Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito their highest rating. President Bush gave Alito his highest rating, too, because he called him 'Super' and 'Duper.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Democrats are worried Alito might be a threat to the Endangered Species List.
They started worrying about the Endangered Species List when they found out they were on it." --Jay Leno

"During Judge Alito's hearings, Senator Ted Kennedy accidentally referred to Sam Alito as Ali-oto. Kennedy said 'Forgive me, I'm sober.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, President Bush said Alito was 'immenately qualified.' Yeah, then he said 'Unless imminently means not.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush was asked how he came up with a conservative like Alito, and he said he got the idea over the weekend while turning the clocks back." --Jay Leno

"Samuel Alito is widely agreed to be conservative, intelligent and competent, and President Bush said he would be willing to overlook those facts this time." --Bill Maher

"Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito says he's embarrassed by some of the things he wrote in the 1980's. Yeah, apparently Alito wrote the song 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It was reported this week that when he was in college, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito supported gay rights. Apparently, his exact words were 'Let's get Jenn and Stacy drunk and see if they make out.'" --Conan O'Brien

"If Judge Alito is confirmed, this is an interesting fact, there would be two sitting Supreme Court justices from New Jersey. Experts say this could cause a reversal in the famous case of Mullet vs. Backhair." --Conan O'Brien

"Big battle brewing in the Senate over the Bush's Supreme Court nominee, Samuel Alito. Bush said the reason he chose Alito was because he did such a good job in the O.J. trial" --Jay Leno
Comments:
Too bad this all isn't a bad joke.

Someone wake me when it's over.
 
If he gets confirmed, then that's no laughing matter!
 
I hope the worst damage is only to his wife's mascara!!
 
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