Thursday, February 02, 2006

The People that Touch our Lives

I decided to write in my own words today. Even tho there's plenty of fodder for politico genocide out there.. sometimes something comes along that stops you in your tracks & makes you put things back into perspective.
Because for all the ilk in D.C, & all the scams going on in high places.. there are still some things that bear pausing & contemplating..
Today I received an email from my ex-husband. We were together for 11 yrs, back in those fun days of the '80's. Both of us had come from repressed childhoods, steeped deeply in that 'old time religion' that never allowed a teen one iota of fun. So in our 30's we finally got to become 'grown-up' teens. We partied til we dropped, dressed to the 9's, & traveled the world. This man made me my 1st birthday cake at age 35.. from scratch.
He made me feel adored on many levels. (Granted he made lots of women feel this way)But for me it was the 1st time of feeling the giddy heights of being placed on a pedestal, & I liked the air up there. He took me to my 1st Mardi Gras in New Orleans, where we dressed up & lived out some crazy little fantasies. He took me to Ireland, where we both enjoyed the 'fatherland' of our heritage. He took me to Rio to see how the 'other half' lives & we did love our long walks on Ipanema beaches there. Again & again we went to the Bahamas.. feeling this was our truest home. We sailed many times on the Windjammer ships, falling in love w/ the sea over & over again. One Valentines day I took him to San Francisco, where we left our hearts, & took my 1st helicopter ride. He took me to Germany, Paris, London, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, Lechtinstein, Amsterdam.. on & on. The world was ours for the taking..
And then, he could not take me to Kuwait. In 1991, we were worlds apart.. in more ways than miles. He came home a changed man, & I was indeed a changed woman.
And we went our own ways.
Not long afterwards, he was given the cruel diagnosis of Myelocystic Leukemia.. a gift from the Gulf War chemicals, that we were assured were never there. He fought the system for good care, paying for his own for the most part. Underwent chemo numerous times, for any remissions he could garner. He married a fellow soldier & enjoyed several years w/ her, their kids, horses & dogs. On a cruel night this fall, he was forced to watch as she came to him, & shot & killed herself. He tried valiantly to save her, but could not. I don't think one ever gets over that horror.
Early this winter he had to undergo a major surgery, & again, more debilitating chemo.
So today I get this note from my 'ex', that says, 'I have have metz to the brain, lungs, & liver. I won't beat it this time.' and he wished me well.
I sat stunned at my desk, w/ all those shared memories flashing thru my heart & mind like a wild fireworks show..
And it suddenly came to me that all the crooks & liars in the government will live to cheat another day. All the guns & bombs will still be firing when this good man has left this world. Life will go on for those of us left on the path. But the world will be a lesser place. The sun will not shine quite as brightly as it did.
For this moment, for this day.. I am thinking of my 30-something-teen-age-heart throb
and I pray his journey is a stellar flight w/ a soft landing.
What a beautiful post. He sounds like he was exactly what you needed at exactly the right time - and you for him.

You made me weep at the end. You have such a way with words...
That is a wonderful story that had me shocked and upset at the end. I hope the next stage in his life comes easy, and that you will cope with his passing with happy memories of those heady days.

Thinking of you and him.
What a wonderful tribute to him and your relationship w/ him... and how sad about how the gov't uses up people .. how dispensible we all are, no matter how devoted people are...
I know he's comforted knowing you are there for him
I appreciate all of your sweet comments. You all make life soooo much better!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?