Monday, October 16, 2006

Thanks, 'B!'

The following is authored by one of my fave cousins in Oklahoma (when I had damn well given up on anyone having any political sense from that place). He penned this is response to some GOP schlock joke about Bill Clinton's sexual antics. I thought it was quite appropo!

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing instead of going to fly an airplane in the national guard. Boom!
He's looking for oil in Texas, but he can't find any. So 3 days before he declares bankruptcy (against SEC rules,) he sells all of his stock for $800k to Arab businessmen. Boom!
He get's his dad's buddies to invest w/him in the Texas Rangers. The citizens of Arlington pony up $100m to renovate the stadium. He sells the Rangers, makes $1m and gets a $12m bonus from his buddies. Boom!
He's running for Gov of Texas against Ann Richards, and is losing until Karl Rove suggests she is a lesbian. Boom!
He's president of the US reading "my pet goat" to school children when an opportunity to do something his dad couldn't do falls into his lap.By lying and twisting intelligence, he is able to circumvent the UN and invade a sovereign nation. Boom!
He manages to turn a budget surplus into a debt for our grandchildren, recreates the wealth distribution structure of the 1920's (w/the top 1% now owning 40% of the wealth,)
eliminates the middle class, appoints his cronies to Fema (to quickly respond to disasters,)
EPA (to ignore their own scientists recommendations about clean air,)
FDA (to rubber stamp Rx companies and insure no-bid contracts to Medicare,)
and the FCC (to ensure that media power becomes more consolidated within the five co's that now control.) Boom!
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit Bill & Hillary Clinton" Boom!
And his 'retard minions' send emails all over the golf course reminding people that Bill was impeached for having relations w/a consenting adult female, and that Hillary could be the first serious female contender for president in our history (although Britain, many European, and SA countries have already made this "nonsensical" leap.) Boom!
Fuck It,Tee it Up
One of the people I volunteered with in Africa believes that Clinton caused 9/11 and the subsequent non-linear invasion of Iraq.

Some trains of thought just puzzle the hell out of me.

This is a great blog & rant from your cousin!
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