Cherokee Sage Woman

I wish I had some David O. Selznick Tara theme music streaming here.. but alas I do not.

** Pre-warning: Be aware the following discourse is full of parentheses & ... (dot, dot,dots) Why? (because it's my perogative) and (I love them...)

Aren't dreams just the funniest things? Take mine.. please!
I was whisked back in time to the Civil War. A little dittie we southerners called the 'Wah-betwain-the-Staytes'. Don't get me started on southern accents. With very little encouragement I can go Paula Deen on yer ass, & it would melt you like buttah...
So, okay, here I am with a couple of girlfriends, in a POW tent, after Gen. Sherman has burned down Atlanta. We have barely escaped with the clothes on our back, & a tent full of bedroom furniture. I suppose we carried those pieces on our backs. We are trying to sew our families jewelry into the hems of our long gowns. Suddenly the tent is invaded by the damn Yankees. They choose my 2 girlfriends to take away as spoils of the war. Fiddle-dee-dee! Imagine my embarassment at being left.
Here I was with an albino boy (no, he did not play a banjo), & an elderly gentlemen (I assume the young virile guys were otherwise engaged on the battlefield). I was supposed to repopulate the South with this??
I did what any southern belle w/ grits would do.. I went to redesigning my bedroom furniture. (Did I tell you how much HGTV effects my life? It even influences my dreams, y'all)
So here I am trying to glue decorative ceramic tiles to my furniture.. & the glues won't hold it. I go back & forth to Lowes like 3 times before finding the good glue. Meanwhile, I have an aging Martha Stewart sticking her wattled neck into the tent chastising me for improper gluing of the tiles.. letting me know that they were all popping off. I told her to go pester Rachel Ray, I didn't need her help!

Finally the glue is working, & all is well in my world.
Did we win the war? Did I bear strange children from all that glue usage? We'll never know, because I woke up.
I pretty much know that the South won, because we do have that determined fashion & design sense (the ability to accessorize separates us from the animals.. & the North). Perhaps my tiled bedroom suite lives on as a Hidden Potential, for those who Design on a Dime, or those who wonder, My House is Worth What? We all want to be Design Stars, no? If These Walls Could Talk, I know what they'd say..
'you watch too much TV girl'..
I wonder what happened to my girlfriends? Did they fare as well as I? Will Rhett Butler do the right thing by me? Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn. And as God is my witness.. tomorrow is another day!