Cherokee Sage Woman

Trump Ponders Political Future

ALBANY, N.Y., Dec. 30, 2005
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Could Donald Trump be New York's next Governor? (AP)

Republicans are looking for a candidate with name recognition and money to take on the only announced Democratic candidate, state Attorney General Eliot Spitzer.
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(AP) Donald Trump is considering running for governor, a leading Republican said Friday.

Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno on Thursday suggested that a big-name candidate could be flirting with entering the 2006 contest. On Friday, he confirmed to News Channel 10 in Albany that he had been referring to Trump.

Bruno told the station he had spoken to the real estate developer and TV personality about a possible run.

A Kansas resident who underwent stem cell therapy for advanced male pattern baldness has since been diagnosed as gay. The man is now suing his doctors, alleging that they knew he did not want to be the recipient of gay stem cells.

Of the embryonic stem cells approved by President Bush, how many are gay?

TOPEKA, KS—When Marybeth Witty stumbled upon her husband Dale watching a pornographic video on the internet, she knew something was wrong. Instead of looking at images of nude high school cheerleaders and young shaved lesbians as he often had in the past, the 37-year old auto parts salesman was taking in hot guy-on-guy action. "As soon as I saw what he was looking at I knew something was different," said Marybeth, a part-time manicurist who enjoys scrapbooking. "This was not the same Dale."

December 28, 2005 | Issue 41•52

BAGHDAD—In a vast outpouring of gratitude to the man they call "Our Great Savior From The West," the people of Iraq flooded the polls during yesterday's first free elections, voting overwhelmingly for President George W. Bush as their first democratically elected leader.

Bush, who spent nearly half a trillion dollars of U.S. taxpayer money on his campaign, received a concession call from Abu Musaiya at 11:30 EST last night.

After the Bush landslide was announced on Al-Jazeera, ecstatic crowds chanted in the streets throughout the recently liberated nation: "Hail George Bush, the president of Iraq!"

"May Allah bless him and his children to the seventh generation!" shouted free Iraqi citizen Abdullah al-Hallasid, firing his gun into the air repeatedly and injuring seven U.S. soldiers. "At last, we are free!"

Bush, who surged in the polls after all of the other candidates were killed by either coalition forces or insurgents in the final week leading up to the election, characterized his victory as the dawn of democracy in the Middle East, and proof that the system works.

‘Oversight’ on Pres. Bush’s Admitted Illegal Spying
Posted December 26th, 2005

Compare and contrast:

1995: Rep. Dan Burton (R-IN), then chair of the House Government Reform and Oversight Committee, investigated whether taxpayers were footing the cost of stationery and postage for the fan club dedicated to President Clinton’s cat, Socks. (They were not - and it turns out Barbara Bush’s dog Millie had a fan club too.)
2005: Two weeks ago, President Bush admitted he willfully flouted a law that requires him to get warrants before wiretapping U.S. citizens. His justification for ignoring the law appears to be nobless oblige. In reaction, Republicans in charge of the Senate Judiciary Committee announced on Friday that they are planning “oversight” hearings into the matter.
The president has admitted he broke the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) hundreds of times. Isn’t it a bit late for “oversight?”

Bullshit Bingo
Sometimes topical or fashionable words block real communication. A humorous perspective.

Do you keep falling asleep in staff meetings?

What about those long and boring conference calls?
Here's a way to change all of that:


1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.



2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

Synergy
Strategic fit
Core competencies
Turbulent environment
Out of the box
Pushback
Bottom line
Revisit
Take that off-line
24/7
Out of the loop
Benchmark
Value-added
Proactive
Bandwidth
Win-win
Think outside the box
Fast track
Results-driven
Paradigm
Empower (or empowerment)
Knowledge base
At the end of the day
Touch base
Mindset
Client focus(ed) or Customer focus(ed)
Ballpark
Game plan
Scenario
Leverage
Cascade
Sequential or sequentially


3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.



4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Jack W., Boston



"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D., Florida



"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Bill R., New York City



“The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
- Ben G., Denver



"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSHIT!" for the third time in two hours."
- Harry A, Chantilly



"Thanks Bingo creator for thinking outside the box and proactively creating this value-added knowledgebase that is a strategic fit with my core competencies and current client focused mindset. I can leverage our existing process and exploit the inherent synergies to expand the knowledgebase to cater to our result driven folks who will work 24/7 to put it on a fast-track. This cascading game-plan is what I call a truly win-win situation."
- Swami S, Sunnyvale, CA

CINNAMONSTERS STEAL 'NUN BUN'

By RITA DELFINER
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December 27, 2005 -- A half-baked holiday fruitcake has stolen a cinnamon bun famous for its likeness to the late Mother Teresa from a Nashville coffeehouse.
Cops are sifting through crumbs of evidence to find the so-called "Nun Bun" and the Christmas Day crook who stole it from the Bongo Java shop, which has displayed the preserved pastry ever since a customer spotted the resemblance in 1996.

The sticky-fingered thief broke in at 6 a.m. Sunday and smashed the glass case on the counter containing the shellacked bun.

After a customer about to take a bite out of the bun saw the image of the revered Nobel Peace Prize winner in October 1996, it made international news.

Egads, it's that time of year again. The days when one frantically searches their mind for something 'unique, untried, untested, unmatched, unrivaled' & resolve to DO the impossible thing in the upcoming year. And it's never just the ONE thing we resolve to do.. we create a bakers dozen of the ridiculous quests & dare ourselves to fail, or in some cases to succeed. One must always be careful what one asks for. I'm recalling a New Years Eve when I asked for a romantic loving partner to enter my life & voila! I had 4 handsome dudes on my Valentines list. Sometimes less is more..

For the past few years I became obsessed with creating resolutions for the Mind/Body/Spirit.. so I would faithfully lie to myself & say 'I will lose 20 lbs for my Body. I will learn to speak Italian for my Mind. I will write a spiritual book for my Inner-being/Spirit-Self.' And every January 2nd, I knew I was doomed to failure. For one thing, I now need to lose 40#; baby-talking in Italian is not pretty; and I much prefer reading a spiritual tome than writing one.

This year I'm rethinking the whole blinkin' process. Why is it that I need to re-Solve anything? I've pretty much 'solved' the thing as it is. I'm extremely happy at this juncture in my life. If I create a catch-all list of supposed imperfections to 'fix', doesn't that take away from the Gratitude for what I am right now?
It smacks of telling God, 'Thank you for a healthy body, but damn Man, could you shave about 30# off these childbearing hips?' It's a wonder She doesn't whop us upside the head & say, 'I'll give you something to grouse about!'

So here's my take on New Years Resolutions.. I resolve/dedicate/determine to do the things I should've been doing all along;
1) Work for world peace
2) Be grateful for all that I am and all that I shall be
3) Pray all good things for my fellow man & animals
5) Simply 'love' & 'forgive'
6) And Just Be Me.

That's it for this handbasket. So don't be looking for the svelte spiritual author to be appearing soon in a town near you. I'll be here in my Bliss, expressing gratitude for friends like you.
Ciao!

Today we'll let the politicos take care of their ownselves, & just send out all happy wishes & kind thoughts for a lovely holiday season!
Here's to the Utmost of the Holidays from Sande/Dan & our felines../Buddy/Tabitha/Tigger & Puki (above, checking out the flowers)

Peace on Earth!

Mind-Numbingly Stupid Official Statements About Iraq
1) "My answer is bring 'em on." —President George W. Bush, challenging militants attacking U.S. forces in Iraq, July 2, 2003 (Source)

2) "I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." --Vice President Dick Cheney, on the Iraq insurgency, June 20, 2005 (Source)

3) "As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." —Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, responding to soldier serving in Iraq who asked him why troops had to dig through scrap metal to armor vehicles, Dec. 8, 2004 (Source)

4) "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." –Vice President Dick Cheney, "Meet the Press," March 16, 2003 (Source)

5) "F**k Saddam, we're taking him out." –President Bush to three U.S. Senators in March 2002, a full year before the Iraq invasion (Source)

6) "Ladies and gentlemen, these are not assertions. These are facts, corroborated by many sources, some of them sources of the intelligence services of other countries." –Secretary of State Colin Powell, testifying about Iraq's chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons capabilities before the United Nations Security Council, Feb. 5, 2003 (Source)

7) "Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things." –Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on looting in Iraq after the U.S. invasion, adding "stuff happens," April 11, 2003 (Source)

8) "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." –President Bush, standing under a "Mission Accomplished" banner on the USS Lincoln aircraft carrier, May 2, 2003 (Source)

9) "It's hard to conceive that it would take more forces to provide stability in post-Saddam Iraq than it would take to conduct the war itself and to secure the surrender of Saddam’s security forces and his army. Hard to imagine." –Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, testifying before the House Budget Committee prior to the Iraq war, Feb. 27, 2003 (Source)

10) "From a marketing point of view, you don't roll out new products in August." --White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card, on why the Bush administration waited until after Labor Day to try to sell the American people on war against Iraq, "New York Times" interview, Sept. 7, 2002 (Source)

Out of 5 things I could be doing.. the oracle advises this!
~~~~~~~~~~~

The Oracle Advises...

blogging

Ask the Oracle a Question

U.S. Troops Draw Up Own Exit Strategy
December 21, 2005 | Issue 41•51

BAGHDAD—Citing the Bush Administration's ongoing refusal to provide a timetable for withdrawal, the U.S. troops stationed in Iraq have devised their own exit strategy.

Enlarge Image

Staff Sgt. Cornelius Woods debriefs Pfc. Jack Colin.
"My marines are the best-trained, best-equipped, most homesick fighting force in the world," said Staff Sgt. Cornelius Woods. "Just give us the order, and we will commandeer every available vehicle to execute a flanking maneuver on the airstrips of Mosul. By this time tomorrow, we will have retaken our positions at our families' dinner tables in full force."

In a striking rebuke of the assertions of the Pentagon and the White House that a swift exit is neither practical nor possible, soldiers of varying rank have outlined a straightforward plan of immediate disengagement, dubbed "Operation Screw This."

"We kicked around several withdrawal scenarios in our barracks, but ultimately settled on the idea of getting out of here as soon as possible," said Maj. Brian Garcia, who is on his third tour of duty in Iraq.

Supporters of the Iraq war say the reconstruction of politically and economically devastated Iraq will take decades, and the gradual process of departure will begin only after a lengthy occupation.

"I'm familiar with the 'years of occupation to facilitate reconstruction' theory," said Army Spc. Megan Beaulieu. "However, virtually every soldier I know—including myself—gives more credence to the successful Dutch and Spanish approach of 'we've done all we can here, let's move out.'"

She added: "Apache helicopters could rendezvous with us in Fallujah. If we left our supplies behind, we could be out of here in 15 minutes."

"I served in South Korea and Germany," said Capt. Barry Graves of the Maryland National Guard, a Vietnam veteran who at 57 was called back into service last year. "I still carry shrapnel in my leg from Khe Sanh. Is it time to go home yet?"

A recent ABC News poll found that the American people are split on the exit strategy. A University of Baghdad survey, however, finds that the exit strategy has the support of approximately 99.3 percent of the Iraqi population.

Pfc. Barbara Terland expressed the sentiment of many soldiers and Iraqis. "If the real reason we're here is to let the Iraqis run their own country, I have the perfect solution: my ass on a plane to St. Louis."

Inspired by the unilateral policies of the White House, Pfc. David Wareham has concocted a unilateral strategy of his own.

"My exit strategy is beautiful in its simplicity," Wareham said. "It involves me personally getting out of here the first chance I get. If I do that, I just might get back to my son, who is a year old and who I have never even met. If that doesn't work, I'll revert to Plan B, which is to retreat into complete insanity."

U.S. Army Chief Of Staff Peter J. Schoomaker said he and the commander-in-chief are analyzing the situation and devising the best possible way to get the troops home safely.

"If the chief of staff is truly interested in ideas about exiting from Iraq," Pfc. Terland said, "I think that it would be a great idea to debate it openly. Why don't we fly home to Washington so we can discuss it together over a cup of coffee?"

I had plans to write today about how it feels to circle the sun 57 times. My experiences of the past year, from dealing w/ the criminals in high places, to the happiness in relocating to our new home. But I found this poem instead, which just encompassed everything I wanted to say in a more eloquent form.
I hope you like it too. It's my 'Happy Birthday to Me'. ;o)
Indeed, if we are still here on this earth, then that is Spirit's way of letting us know we continue to have work to do. This life is our gift from God. What we do w/ this is our gift back to God. And w/ every breath we exhale a 'thank you'..
~~~~~~~~~

THANKS

Listen
with the night falling we are saying thank you
we are stopping on the bridges to bow for the railings
we are running out of the glass rooms
with our mouths full of food to look at the sky
and say thank you
we are standing by the water looking out
in different directions.

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you
looking up from tables we are saying thank you
in a culture up to its chin in shame
living in the stench it has chosen we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you
in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators
remembering wars and the police at the back door
and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you
in the banks that use us as we are saying thank you
with the crooks in office with the rich and fashionable
unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you

with the animals dying around us
our lost feelings we are saying thank you
with the forests falling faster than the minutes
of our lives we are saying thank you
with the words going out like cells of a brain
with the cities growing over us like the earth
we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
we are saying thank you and waving
dark though it is.
__W.S. Merwin

•Updated: 11:21 p.m. ET Dec. 20, 2005
A federal judge has resigned from the court that oversees government surveillance in intelligence cases in protest of President Bush's secret authorization of a domestic spying program, according to two sources.

U.S. District Judge James Robertson, one of 11 members of the secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, sent a letter to Chief Justice John D. Roberts Jr. late Monday notifying him of his resignation without providing an explanation.

Two associates familiar with his decision said yesterday that Robertson privately expressed deep concern that the warrantless surveillance program authorized by the president in 2001 was legally questionable and may have tainted the FISA court's work.

The Conyers Report:
http://www.house.gov/judiciary_democrats/iraqrept.html

"In brief, we have found that there is substantial evidence the President, the Vice-President and other high ranking members of the Bush Administration misled Congress and the American people regarding the decision to go to war in Iraq; misstated and manipulated intelligence information regarding the justification for such war; countenanced torture and cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment in Iraq; and permitted inappropriate retaliation against critics of their Administration. There is at least a prima facie case that these actions that federal laws have been violated - from false statements to Congress to retaliating against Administration critics. In response to the Report, I have already taken several initial steps. First, I have introduced a resolution (H. Res. 635) creating a Select Committee with subpoena authority to investigate the misconduct of the Bush Administration with regard to the Iraq war and report on possible impeachable offenses. In addition, I have introduced Resolutions regarding both President Bush (H. Res. 636) and Vice-President Cheney (H. Res. 637) proposing that they be censured by Congress based on indisputable evidence of unaccounted for misstatements and abuse of power in the public record. There are a number of additional recommendations in the Report that I expect to be taking up in the coming weeks and months.

I'm sorry, but this nation just gets crazier & crazier..
Remember the old 'WWJD' bracelets? ('What Would Jenna Drink') Well apparently she's drinking plenty these days! There's sure to be a nice White House spin on Miss Lollapalooza this week..
~~~~~~~~

No Happy Ending For Jenna Bush
Jenna Bush’s infamous ID-gate videotape is raising more questions than the Zapruder film. According to a source who has seen the footage—which features a self-described downtown coke dealer relating his late-night run-in with the First Daughter, and brandishing her college ID as a souvenir—the man insinuates that the two shared more than just drinks.

A well-informed source, who has a DVD copy of the interview shot by tbirdshow.com’s Travis Poston, says that at one point the dealer claims that the young, blonde Jenna Bush with the Texas accent he hung out with that night (and who happened to leave behind Jenna Bush’s belongings) had been “helping [him] clean up” the bar after a long night of partying.

(A publicist for First Lady Laura Bush has unequivocally denied that her daughter has ever been to the Chinatown bar, Happy Ending, even though we hear the UT-Austin ID card displayed in the film clearly shows the hard-partying political liability’s name, picture and student ID number.)

According to the New York Post’s Page Six, the Secret Service are reportedly taking the tape seriously enough to investigate, and we hear they’re not the only ones. When Fresh Intelligence emailed tbirdshow.com about securing selected clips to host on this site, we received the following curt response: “There are about ten top papers fighting for that footage. Get in line.”

Needless to say, “if a coke dealer has your ID it doesn’t look so good,” quipped the source.

This weeks late-night jokes:
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"Hundreds of thousands of Gulf Coast families hoping to rebuild their homes using low-interest government loans are facing high rejection rates and widespread delays. Said President Bush, 'The what and the who?" --Tina Fey
"President Bush admitted that the United States went to war in Iraq based on bad intelligence. But he says knowing what we know now he would still do it again. So at least we're learning from our mistakes." --Jay Leno

"A congressional press secretary by the name of Thomas Springer was arrested for bank robbery. Guy's a congressional press secretary, police said he robbed at least 7 banks. Said he fell in with the wrong crowd. Yeah, Congress." --Jay Leno

"King Kong is so popular right now that there's talk he may run for governor of California." --David Letterman

"Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it." --Conan O'Brien

"Several right-wing groups say they might boycott the Ford Motor Company because they continue to advertise in gay magazines. In a related story, most Americans plan to boycott Ford because they make Fords." --Conan O'Brien

"The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years." --David Letterman

"Already there have been reports of 1000 fake ballots in the Iraqi election. So it looks like another victory for Republicans." --David Letterman

"The only time more people voted in the Middle East [than did in Iraq's elections] was during Fallujah's Funniest Home Videos." --Conan O'Brien

"It will take up to two weeks to figure out who won this week's Iraqi elections. So far it looks like the dark-haired guy with the moustache." --Conan O'Brien

"Today they held the elections in Iraq, and the results are slowly coming in. The only thing we know, Al Gore lost again." --Jay Leno

"Now they can get you for jury duty, my friends. Welcome to democracy, b*#%!" --Jon Stewart, to Iraqi voters

"President Bush admitted that much of the intelligence that we went to war on was faulty. Well you can't blame the president for relying on faulty intelligence. It got him through college." --Jay Leno

"President Bush spoke today about the elections in Iraq. Bush admitted the elections won't be perfect. Well, luckily for him, they're not perfect over here, too. That's how he got elected." --Jay Leno

"Over in Iraq after you vote they paint your finger purple so you can't vote again. It's a flawless system. It works perfectly unless, of course, someone has paint remover." --Jay Leno

"The Iraqi elections -- oh my god, they're almost over, the polls are probably closing now, come on, Hassan Al-Tikriti bin Yossef! How many people you think wrote in Nader's name, just to goof around?" --Jon Stewart

"You know President Bush and his father have nicknames for each other? President Bush calls his father 41, because he was the 41st president, and his father calls him 43, because that's his approval rating." --Jay Leno

"It was so cold in Washington, Tom DeLay was wearing an extra layer of bribe money." --Jay Leno

"During an interview yesterday, President Bush said 'You can call me anything you want, but don't call me a racist.' Brian Williams responded: 'Whatever you want, Dumbass.'" --Conan O'Brien

"In a recent interview, President Bush said, this is a quote, 'I know a lot of people who are glad that we're in Iraq.' When asked who, the president said the leaders of North Korea and Iran." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush's approval ratings on the way up. They've gone up 5 points this week. You know what you call that? A Christmas miracle. He's now up to 42% favorable. President Bush said his goal was to get it up to 49% -- like it was on Election Day." --Jay Leno

"More Iraqis think things are going well in Iraq than Americans do. I guess they don't get the New York Times over there." --Jay Leno

"The price of heating has gone up so much that people are now asking Santa for coal in their stockings." --Jay Leno

"It's true, everybody is in the holiday spirit. Last night, Bill Clinton saw the 'Nutcracker.' Not the ballet, Hillary." --David Letterman

"Fox News' Bill O'Reilly has been at the forefront in defending Christmas, even though, until recently, Fox's own online store invited viewers to buy an 'O'Reilly Factor' holiday ornament for their holiday tree. In the war on Christmas, that's known as friendly fire. ... Legend has it every time you say 'Happy Holidays,' an angel gets AIDS." --Jon Stewart

"Say what you will about George Bush, but at least his interns are only licking the envelopes." --David Letterman, on Bush sending out 1.4 million Christmas cards

"Heating bills this winter are the highest they've been in five years, but President Bush has a plan to combat rising bills. It's called global warming." --Jay Leno

"Iraqi officials have imposed a nighttime curfew for the elections and I think that's a great idea, because if there's one thing the insurgents won't monkey with, it's a curfew." --David Letterman

"The Energy Department's Argon National Lab has determined that Beethoven died from lead poisoning. Now when did he die, 1827? And you thought you had to wait a long time for your lab results. Apparently, Beethoven was one of the first members of an HMO plan." --Jay Leno

"While speaking in North Carolina this week, President Bush said, the economy is strong, and the best is yet to come. Adding: Also, the war's going great, we don't torture people, I'm 11 feet tall, and if you don't believe me, you can ask my unicorn." --Tina Fey

Pass the kleenex.. not for the touching story.. just pass the kleenex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike Peters, (Bio) peters@greeleytrib.com
December 12, 2005

OK, before we get into this story, we need to get the main question out of the way. The question everybody asks when they hear what Josh did.

Question: "Josh, what did it taste like?"

Josh: "Boogers."

Thanks, Josh. Glad we cleared that up.

Josh Hendrickson is 13 years old and has already become a hero in his home. He saved a puppy by doing something many of us would refuse.

It happened last week, when the family's labrador retriever, Daisy, was having her first litter of pups. The family was surprised there were 13 of them. Two were still-born, not sufficiently formed to survive.

But the others came out all right, except for one little guy who wasn't breathing.

Josh's stepfather, J.C. Lowe, had to leave for work after helping Daisy for several hours. Josh, his sister, Tynnette, and their aunt were at the house.

When the puppy came out without breathing, Josh quickly called their veterinarian at Belair Animal Hospital.

"He said the puppy's airway was probably clogged with mucous," Josh said. "We had to get the mucous out if the puppy was going to breathe."

So seventh-grader Josh used two fingers to pump the puppy's chest a few times, then put his mouth around the puppy's mouth and sucked.

It worked. The mucous that was clogging the puppy's breathing broke free, and Josh sucked it into his own mouth.

"I spit it out right away, though," Josh said.

The puppy was breathing, but it wasn't over, yet.

The umbilical cord on the puppy was bleeding. And so Josh, who now thinks maybe he might be a veterinarian some day, tied the umbilical cord with thread. The cord isn't much bigger than the thread itself, but Josh tied it.

And now the puppy and his brothers and sisters -- all unusual silver-colored Labs -- are OK.

Stepfather Lowe is proud.

"A lot of people wouldn't have called the vet, and even then wouldn't have sucked out the mucous. He did it," Lowe said.

The puppy doesn't have a name yet because in eight weeks, all will be offered for sale. But Josh suggested a name for the puppy he saved: "Miracle."

Which is much better than "Booger."

Saturday, December 10, 2005

U.S. walks out during climate change talks

By ANDREW C. REVKIN
THE NEW YORK TIMES

MONTREAL -- The United States and China, the world's current and projected leaders in emissions of greenhouse gases, refused Friday to agree to mandatory steps to curtail them as two weeks of U.N. talks on global warming neared an end.

In a sign of its growing isolation at the meeting, the Bush administration came under sharp criticism for walking out of informal discussions shortly after midnight on finding new ways to reduce emissions under the United Nations' 1992 treaty on climate change.

The walkout, by Harlan Watson, the United States' chief negotiator here, came on the last day of talks in which the administration was repeatedly assailed by the leaders of other wealthy industrialized nations for refusing to negotiate to advance the goals of that treaty.

At a closed session of about 50 delegates, Watson objected to the proposed title of a statement calling for long-term international cooperation to carry out the 1992 climate treaty, participants said. He then got up from the table and departed.

Environmentalists here called his actions the capstone of two weeks of American efforts to prevent any fresh initiatives from being discussed. "This shows just how willing the U.S. administration is to walk away from a healthy planet and its responsibilities to its own people," said Jennifer Morgan, director of the climate change project at the World Wildlife Fund.

The meeting here is ending much as it began. The world's major sources of greenhouse emissions -- the United States, big developing countries such as China and India, and a bloc led by Europe and Japan -- remain divided over how to proceed under both the 1992 treaty and the Kyoto Protocol, an addendum that took effect this year.

The original treaty -- since ratified by 189 nations, including the United States -- has no binding restrictions. The Kyoto pact does impose mandatory limits on industrialized nations, but they do not apply to developing nations, including China and India. The United States and Australia have rejected that pact.

On Friday, countries bound by the Kyoto Protocol were close to agreeing on a plan to negotiate a new set of targets and timetables for cutting emissions after its terms expire in 2012.

But under pressure from some countries that were already having trouble meeting Kyoto targets, the language included no specific year for completing talks on next steps, instead indicating that parties would "aim to complete" work "as soon as possible."

Trouble on the Home Front

With attention riveted on the cause célèbre occasioned by revelations concerning CIA-run prisons abroad, kidnapping, and "extraordinary renditions" of captives to torture-prone foreign countries - and the predictably neuralgic reaction among our allies - it is easy to miss the likely political fallout here at home.

Vice President Dick Cheney, whose unbridled chutzpah has led him to take public as well as private credit for being the intellectual author of US policy on torture, has become such a glaring liability that his tenure may be short-lived. There is a growing possibility that the vice president will resign at the turn of the year "for reasons of health," and that his partner-in-crime - in what Colin Powell's former chief of staff at the State Department, Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, has labeled the "Cheney-Rumsfeld cabal" - will choose to retire to his home in Taos early next year.

Bill O'Reilly steps up for Christmas:


I am not going to let oppressive, totalitarian, anti-Christian forces in this country diminish and denigrate the holiday and the celebration. I am not going to let it happen. I'm gonna use all the power that I have on radio and television to bring horror into the world of people who are trying to do that. And we have succeeded. You know we've succeeded. They are on the run in corporations, in the media, everywhere. They are on the run, because I will put their face and their name on television, and I will talk about them on the radio if they do it. There is no reason on this earth that all of us cannot celebrate a public holiday devoted to generosity, peace, and love together. There is no reason on the earth that we can't do that. So we are going to do it. And anyone who tries to stop us from doing it is gonna face me.

The shorter Bill O'Reilly: That's right, if I don't see a little generosity, peace, and love from you assholes, I'm going to start bustin' heads.

I wonder if the Wrath of Bill extends to mega-churches closed on Christmas.

Thursday, December 8, 2005; Posted: 10:27 a.m. EST (15:27 GMT)
STORRS, Connecticut (AP) -- Conservative columnist Ann Coulter cut short a speech at the University of Connecticut amid boos and jeers, and decided to hold a question-and-answer session instead.

"I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am," Coulter told the crowd of 2,600 Wednesday.

Before cutting off her speech after about 15 minutes, Coulter called Bill Clinton an "executive buffoon" who won the presidency only because Ross Perot took 19 percent of the vote.

Coulter's appearance prompted protests from several student groups. About 100 people rallied outside the auditorium where she spoke, saying she spread a message of intolerance.

"We encourage diverse opinion at UConn, but this is blatant hate speech," said Eric Knudsen, a 19-year-old sophomore journalism and social welfare major who heads campus group Students Against Hate.

It wasn't the first time Coulter has had trouble at a university speech. In October 2004, two men ran onstage and threw custard pies as she was giving a speech at the University of Arizona.

You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/thoth/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

A Poem for George


P utrid and ugly are words that you'll hear,
R egarding this man, and his wicked career.
E vil! Dishonest! Unswervingly vile!
S imple and Stupid; a Bucket of Bile,
I sn't afraid to lie like a dog,
D oesn't perceive that he lives in a fog.
E yes that remind me of Alfred E. Neuman,
N ever once stopped a buck (take THAT, Harry Truman!).
T urd-Blossom Rove tells him just what to do:

G ifts for the wealthiest, nothing for you.
E ven his college profs doubt his maturity.
O ld people fear for their Social Security.
R eads nothing at all, except "My Pet Goat,"
G ave up on bin-Laden, took Iraq by the throat.
E nvironment doomed, 2000-plus dead.


W orld is appalled, economy bled.


B ully, tyrant, oil racketeer -
U ncurious George: Peddler of fear.
S urely the moment has finally been reached:
H e's a failure, a criminal, and must be impeached.

Todd Lockwood
Bonney Lake, WA

A study says people who have one alcoholic drink a day are 54 percent less obesity-prone than teetotalers are. (But those with four or more drinks a day are 46 percent more obesity-prone.) Another study indicates that among people who weigh too much or drink too much alcohol, those who drink more than two cups of coffee a day are only half as prone to chronic liver disease. Each study involved more than 8,000 people. Cynical take: Wash out your fat with liquor, then rinse out your liquor with coffee.

Making the rounds of the internet, but I just love his style!
~~~~~~~~~~~==

Mr. President,

This job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to
spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you
used up the army.

And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family
nightmare: helping poor people.

Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No
one's speaking to you.

Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk
away. Like you did with your military service, and the oil company, and
the baseball team.

It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about
Cowboy or Space man?

Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as
President could involve yourself in. Please don't.

I know, I know. There's a lot left to do:
There's a war with Venezuela.
Eliminating the sales tax on yachts.
Turning the space program over to the Church,
And Social Security to Fannie Mae.
Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why?
Because you govern like Billy Joel drives.
You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself
a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was
a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to
rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four
airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of
New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love
this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were
on the other side. So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is:
"Take a hint."

by Molly Ivins

The Lord Impersonator is back again. This fella reappears every couple of years and causes no end of trouble. The jokester goes around persuading feeble-minded persons he is the Lord Almighty and that they are to do or say some perfectly idiotic thing under his instructions.

One of the worst cases we've had in Texas was the time the Lord Impersonator convinced 20 people in Floydada to git nekkid, get into a GTO and drive to Vinton, La., where they ran into a tree. Seein' 20 nekkid people, including five children, come out of a GTO startled the Vinton cops. The nekkid citizens all said God told them to do it.

Quite a few people have been mishearing the Lord lately. The Rev. Pat Robertson thinks the Lord told the people of Dover, Pa., they shouldn't ask for His help anymore because they elected a school board Robertson doesn't like. And Rep. Richard Baker of Louisiana said right after Hurricane Katrina that "we finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did it."

I kind of doubt Katrina was designed by the Lord as a form of urban renewal. I think it's a big mistake for us to go around putting our own puny interpretations on stuff that happens and then claiming the Lord meant thus-and-such by it. It is my humble opinion that some folks should do a lot more listening to God and a lot less talking for Him.

In that category, I put a whole passel of politicians -- including that God-fearing professional patriot Rep. "Duke" Cunningham of San Diego. Cunningham resigned his office after pleading guilty to having accepted $2.4 million in bribes from defense contractors. "Duke's" big cause in Congress was to get a constitutional amendment to ban flag-burning. Which do you think is more unpatriotic: burning a flag to indicate desperate dissent against American policy or getting elected to Congress and selling out for a Rolls Royce and some antique commodes?

Rep. Tom DeLay, who is under indictment in Texas, is another fine parser of the Lord's intent. According to Mother Jones magazine, DeLay appeared at a prayer breakfast just after the tsunami that killed 240,000 people. "DeLay read a passage from Matthew about a nonbeliever: '... a fool who built his house on sand: the rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house, and it collapsed and was completely ruined.' Then, without comment, he righteously sat down."

Some Christians seem to me inclined to lose track of love, compassion and mercy. I don't think I have any special brief to go around judging them, but when the stink of hypocrisy becomes so foul in the nostrils it makes you start to puke it becomes necessary to point out there is one more good reason to observe the separation of church and state: If God keeps hanging out with politicians, it's gonna hurt his reputation.

SMOKED TURKEY FREEDOM FOWL*
*This dish has been renamed due to the country for which the turkey was formerly named's rude and suspicious refusal to allow American troops unfettered access to their soil to more easily slaughter their neighbors. I refuse to honor that type of ingratitude by killing and eating their namesake.
And what sourpuss told us we couldn't smoke at the table?

INGREDIENTS:

1 Large Butterball Turkey Freedom Fowl (can substitute Oscar Mayer ballpark franks)
2 boxes of NicoDerm CQ nicotine patches
Orville Redenbacher extra-butter popcorn
PREPARATION:
As with any chore, the first thing to do is fill a coffee mug with your favorite adult beverage of the day. Remember that cooking can be even duller than childrearing without proper libations.
Scoop out the nasty stuff they stick inside the bird. Gals, this will make you feel like the turkey's freedom fowl's gynecologist if you don't use Rubbermaid gloves! Leave the giblets and anything else you find in there on the floor for the dogs.
Peel the protective covers off of the NicoDerm patches. Use them to completely cover the bird. Put the Level 1 patches on the white meat and the Levels 2 and 3 patches on the dark meat. (Hostess Tip: Remember to serve yourself breast meat for an added kick at dinner!)
Plaster any unused patches up your inner thigh where nosy photographers won't see them. Save a couple to apply directly to your tongue while you mash the potatoes. Remember: Any chore can be turned into fun with the right prescription!
Give the bird 30 minutes to absorb all the nicotine. Your adult beverage is probably gone at this point, so by all means pour another!
Sometimes, I've had so many adult beverages, I forget to preheat the oven to 375. And if you have gotten this far in the recipe and not done so, you have, too! Silly! So, preheat the oven to 375 and have some ciggies while you flip through a Kountry Krafts magazine while you wait for the oven to warm up.
Stuff the popcorn into the nasty, moist center of the bird.
Your turkey freedom fowl should be thoroughly smoked now, so peel off all the nicotine patches.
Place the turkey freedom fowl in your now hot oven.
When you hear popcorn flying out of your turkey's freedom fowl's ass, you know that your delectable smoked turkey freedom fowl is ready!
Bon Appetite!
MOTHER'S SLIM JIM GRAVY
PREPARATION:
Peel the plasticy (but, gracious, I think it is something else!) outer layer off of 15 Slim Jims with a sharp knife or your teeth
Scrape out the wonderful filling with a grapefruit spoon and place in ¼ cup of boiling water. Cook until the water turns a brownish-yellowish-green (like used chewing tobacco in the bottom of a Styrofoam cup).
Put 4 Tablespoons of the "Slim Jim Nectar" in a pan
Blend in 4 Tablespoons of flour, using a low heat, and stir until smooth
Slowly stir in 2 cups of water and the rest of the Slim Jim Nectar
Boil for 5 minutes, stirring with the hand you are not smoking with.
Add 1 teaspoon of Gravy Master (my secret!)
Turn off the heat and add 2-3 cups (to taste) of Gordon's Vodka.
Serve!
NOTE: Remember if you have to reheat the gravy, all the vodka will be burned off and it will be ruined.

TRADITIONAL CRANBERRY RELISH
PREPARATION:
Open can
Place on saucer
Serve

ALL-AMERICAN CARROT HEAD
Grating real oranges requires a careful cook to wash her hands - this recipe will allow you keep your hands dry by skipping that step. Nothing ruins a Parliament Menthol like wet paper!
PREPARATION:

Cover about 2 inches of the bottom of a CorningWare dish with oleo or butter (can substitute the more traditional lard if you are not serving liberal food-Nazis!)
Sprinkle with a fistful of Morton's salt
Slide a fingernail into the pouch of a Winn Dixie frozen baby carrots and dump them onto the counter. Place the carrots into the oleo so that they are sticking straight up in the design of a Caucasian face. (Make the carrots smile or frown depending on whether your Xanax is waxing or waning.)
Sprinkle about 5 Tablespoons of Diet Tang onto the carrot face
Microwave for 5 minutes (or 9 minutes if Bar, who is always looking for something to complain about, is coming over with her bad teeth).

COWBOY COOKIES
INGREDIENTS:
3 C. all-purpose flour
1 T. baking powder
1 T. baking soda (just scoop out from the box in the back of the fridge used to absorb odors - no one will know!)
3 tins Skoal Long Cut Mint chewing tobacco
1 T. artificial hickory smoke flavor
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 C. animal lard (at room temperature)
1 1/2 C. Sweet'N Low sweetener
1 1/2 C. caramelized Equal® sweetener
3 eggs
1 T. vanillin extract
3 C. semisweet chocolate chips
2 C. sawdust
2 T spittle (no phlegm)
PREPARATION:
Preheat oven to 350ºF.
Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, chewing tobacco and salt in bowl.
In 8-quart bowl, beat butter on medium speed until smooth and creamy, 1 minute. Gradually beat in artificial sweeteners; beat to combine, 2 minutes.
Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each. Beat in artifical vanilla extract.
Stir in flour mixture until just combined. Add chocolate chips and sawdust.
NOTE: The batter may be a bit dry at this point. Drink some milk and spit into the bowl until the mix is moist, but not runny.
For each cookie, drop 1/4 cup dough onto heavily greased baking sheets, spacing 3 inches apart.
Bake for 17 to 29 minutes, until edges are lightly browned; rotate sheets halfway through.
Remove cookies from rack to cool. Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
NOTE: For 6 dozen small cookies, use 2 tablespoons dough for each. Bake at 350ºF for 15 to 18 minutes


"My mother told me that the way to hold on to a Texas man is to be a prairie whore in the bedroom and a Sizzler chef in the kitchen. That's all well and good, but my favorite recipe for holding on to my cowboy is equal parts knowing how many times he's been arrested mixed with a dash of the Associated Press anonymous tips hotline."


- 1 C Nestles Quick chocolate syrup
- 4 T Sweet n Low artificial sweetener
- 5 C Amaretto Carnation Coffee-Mate nondairy creamer
- 3 C Everclear grain alcohol
- A pinch of salt
- A pinch of cinnamon
- 1/2 t Sam's Club imitation vanilla flavoring
Mix, heat, then top with Cool Whip (or Miracle Whip if you don't have a sweet tooth) and marshmallows.

Betty Bowers' Christmas 2005 Newsletter


Seasons Bleatings to those few remaining unindicted Republicans out there whose unblinking loyalty cannot be diluted by the vicious media's newfound, punctilious obsession with unpatriotic facts!

Friends, it is the Christmas season, and you know what that means. Yes, once again, it is time to be on vigilant lookout for malicious seasonal affronts by complete strangers. Such barbarous insults will most often come in the form of a foully exclaimed "Happy Holidays!" disingenuously palmed off by the irretrievably unsaved as a benign pleasantry.

As Christians, it is essential to remain cognizant of the seemingly illogical fact that even though we constitute the vast preponderance of Americans, we are constantly the object of cruel persecution by the majority of our fellow citizens. And during the Christmas season this insidious anti-Christian harassment most often takes the creatively sneaky form of politeness by strangers.

Therefore, it is imperative that when you see someone baring a charming smile or other outward signs of a predisposition to warmly greet (be alert for nefarious waves or other gestures meant to disarm you), you must be ready to verbally pummel this would-be well-wisher with fiery, barbed indignation. When some Darwin-worshipper or yarmulke-sporting outsider wishes you, say, "A joyous Holiday Season," treat their shocking rudeness as an opportunity to upbraid them for failing to investigate the god you worship before impetuously rushing into attempts at convivial greeting. Indeed, if someone has the temerity to wish you a so-called "Happy Holidays," you must be prepared to rebuke them with a ferocity that would melt an obese snowman from forty paces.

The following Christmas-themed rejoinder has served me rather well when confronted by a cheerful stranger on the other side of a stack of cashmere cardigans at Saks, and I give you full license to use it without attribution or provocation:

"Pardon me, but who the H E double-L do you think you are muttering your saccharine, inclusive good wishes to me, an evangelical Christian? If you can't have the decency to specifically acknowledge my personal brand of faith, you can kindly shut your evolution-espousing cakehole, Missy!"

After the relentless quality of your pious wrath has had a moment to settle in on the supposedly genial secular humanist, turn the other cheek and offer the Christ-like salutation:

"May the love and peace of my Lord Jesus be with all mankind this Christmas -- even unsaved trash like you, who run about spewing pagan incantations of jollity! Merry Christmas!"

You will then be free to turn your attention more fully to the raison d'etre for celebrating the birth of the Baby Jesus in the first place (black Amex card wielding shopping!), sanguine in the knowledge that you have just treated someone to a mild preview of the humiliating public scolding that awaits her on Judgment Day. The godly bonus for your unction is that you will have sufficiently startled the heathen shopper just long to pry the last crocodile Asprey handbag from her disoriented, weakened grasp. Verily, you will be at the cash register before she even realizes that she was just slapped by the blunt backhand of righteousness! Glory!

Stand ready to pointedly correct any unauthorized display of mirth or unapproved appellations throughout December. It is not a Holiday Tree, it is a Christmas Tree! And why is it a Christmas tree? Well, because that is what our Christian forefathers decided to call it almost 2,000 years ago. That is when they resourcefully stole it and the entire Winter Solstice Holiday from the pagans and, with nary an alteration, rechristened the wildly popular ancient holiday "The Christmas Shopping Season." They may have had it first, but we are louder!

No one understands the importance of rebranding better than we image-conscious Republicans. William Shakespeare was amusingly naïve when he suggested that a McDonald's french fry would taste just as withered, salty and cold if called a Freedom Fry. But Americans are always more observant of what something is called, rather than what it actually is. Otherwise, we would take time from work in early November for "Uncounted Gestures," rather than "Voting," Barbara Walters would be statutorily barred from referring to Teri Hatcher as "fascinating," and loyally regurgitating partisan talking points would not be called "Fair and Balanced" unless accompanied by a smirk and derisive laughter.

While I tend to pay scrupulous attention to labels in garments, the significance of other labels is not lost on even our tenaciously incurious President. After all, he was shrewd enough this week to finally repackage his long standing "Unplanned Defeat" in Iraq as a "Plan for Victory" in Iraq without changing anything other than the words on the colorful backdrop behind him.

But outside of the incidental (well, daily) $5,000/plate GOP fundraiser, our President asks for surprisingly little before agreeing to prevaricate by rote in front of large groups of people. Indeed, except for an easily digestible jingoistic catchphrase on a PowerPoint milieu, Mr. Bush's only prerequisite is a group in military uniform that asks no unvetted questions and doesn't churlishly calibrate its applause to respond to the actual content of the speech. Regrettably, the only thing more difficult to find than such a compliant prop for the President's televised speeches this Christmastime is a Republican not under criminal investigation.

This is in spite of the fact that the news from Iraq is surprisingly good. Well, it should be at those prices! Yes, as I am sure you have heard, in a felicitous effort to make Iraq more like America (a hearty Christian shout-out to Maggie "Talk To Me About the Surprisingly Cheap Price of My Opinions" Gallagher!), our government has been paying for propaganda to be featured in the Iraqi press.

Karl Rove, nimbly one barely discernible step ahead of a gaining Patrick Fitzgerald, defended the administration's extravagant policy of paying al a carte for news by saying, "When reality gives you lemons, shift enough money from covert concentration camps around to buy yourself some lemonade!"

Wishing you and your ferociously evangelical, Republican family a lovely CHRISTMAS as you open extravagant gifts, sip Swiss Miss cocoa, watch Fox News and contemplate "Whom Would Jesus Torture?" on Baby Jesus Day.

So Close to Jesus, His Brusque Christmas Shopping Has Made Me Persona non Grata at Dolce & Gabbana,

Mrs. Betty Bowers

America's Best Christian

The Dumbest Things President Bush Said in 2005
10) "It's totally wiped out. ... It's devastating, it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground." --turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane Katrina flood damage from Air Force One, Aug. 31, 2005

9) "I'm occasionally reading, I want you to know, in the second term." --Washington, D.C., March 16, 2005

8) "This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table." --Brussels, Belgium, Feb. 22, 2005

7) "I'm going to spend a lot of time on Social Security. I enjoy it. I enjoy taking on the issue. I guess, it's the mother in me." --Washington D.C., April 14, 2005

6) "Because the — all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers.

5) "I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" --in a note to to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting, September 14, 2005

4) "We've got a lot of rebuilding to do. First, we're going to save lives and stabilize the situation. And then we're going to help these communities rebuild. The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." (Laughter) --touring hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005

3) "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

2) "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." --to FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005

1) "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." --to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

EXPERT PUTS BAD FACE ON HISTORIC TRANSPLANT


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 2, 2005 -- Doctors who gave a French woman the world's first face transplant did not try normal reconstructive surgery first, violating the advice of a French government ethics panel, a surgeon familiar with the case said yesterday.
Dr. Laurent Lantieri also said he was concerned the patient may not be fit psychologically for the operation and its demands.

The 38-year-old woman, whose identity has not been disclosed, had surgery to replace her nose, lips and chin in Amiens on Sunday. The donor was a brain-dead patient.

Although the recipient was mauled by a dog in May, surgeons immediately sought a donor without trying to repair her face through conventional surgical methods, said Lantieri, a reconstructive surgeon at a Paris hospital.

"The ethics committee said this kind of transplant should never be considered as an emergency procedure," he said. "You cannot have informed consent."

Fact is stranger than fiction. Read in NY Post this morning:
~~~~~~~~

SPANKY PANKY LOOT

By LARRY CELONA and TODD VENEZIA in New York and LEELA de KRETSER in Columbus, Ohio
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 1, 2005 -- A charity executive used $210,000 meant to cure heart disease to get his own pulse pounding — repeatedly flying a dominatrix halfway across the country to spank him, law-enforcement sources said yesterday.
Abraham Alexander racked up charges on an employer credit card for a slew of personal items, including steamy S&M meet-and-beat sessions with Lady Sage, a world-renowned whip mistress based in Columbus, Ohio, the sources said.

Alexander, 45, is an accounts-payable exec at the not-for-profit Cardiovascular Research Foundation.

The Long Island man allegedly used the funds to fulfill his fetish fantasies by paying the Midwestern mistress' air fare to New York each month — and ponying up for a wardrobe full of bawdy bondage gear, including chains and whips.

He also paid for jewelry and fancy dinners, in addition to $30,000 in fees to the leather-clad Ohio backside paddler, sources familiar with the case said.

Alexander, who had not been working at the charity for long, was arraigned Tuesday on charges of grand larceny and forgery and ordered held in lieu of $10,000 bail, the Manhattan DA's Office said.

Lady Sage — who goes by her real name, Pam DeBord, outside her dungeon — says on her Web site that she charges $1,000 a day plus expenses to travel to clients.



On top of that, clients pay $250 an hour for her spanking services.

"Professional domination sessions are about good people having great fun," Lady Sage says on her Web site.

"I love nothing more than coaxing you to accept more pain and torment for my pleasure," she adds. "I love holding your very soul in my hands."

The raven-haired 43-year-old poses in leather bondage outfits on her site — but in real life, she is a divorced former hairdresser and a mom of one who recently became a grandmother, her ex-husband said.

"She flies from America to Europe all the time for work and even the Middle East, places like Egypt," claimed the Ohio man, who did not give his name and who said he divorced her after learning that she worked as an S&M mistress behind his back.

Of the more than $200,000 Alexander allegedly stole, $30,000 was spent for Lady Sage's services, the sources said.

The NYPD's Organized Theft and Identity Theft Task Force busted him on Monday at his East Meadow home. He was still being held in jail yesterday.

Neither he nor his lawyer could be reached for comment.

At his home last night, a man who identified himself as Alexander's brother-in-law said, "Unfortunately, my sister married him . . . He's an a- - - - - -."

Officials at the Cardiovascular Research Foundation released a statement saying that they uncovered the alleged theft during a regularly scheduled review of finances.

The East 59th Street-based organization, described as the world's largest private medical research foundation, said thefts will be covered by insurance.

Sage refused to talk when reached at home in Columbus.

On a section of her site dedicated to customer testimonials, one happy client raves, "I spent most of the session tied down on her table while she abused me in various ways. She also spent more than a little time reddening my ass, because I could be marked for a few days."

It was not known if any of the letters from satisfied customers was from Alexander.

I read this paragraph this morning in Buzzflash. I find it chillingly correct.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Suppose you are a passenger in a car on a dark night in the middle of a howling snowstorm. And the driver turns into a one way street -- in the wrong direction -- at full throttle. You alert the driver that he is going the wrong way, but all he says is, "God is on our side. I'll make it go in our way because we have the biggest, best car in the world." It is too dark to look into his eyes and see whether he is stupid or mad.

But all you know is that he steps harder on the gas pedal, as you try to point out the one way street signs pointing in the opposite direction. Meanwhile, as cars swerve to avoid you -- their horns blaring -- you see a massive garbage truck off in the distance heading your way. You frantically warn the driver, but he calmly tells you, "Jesus is with us. I will not change my route."

Well folks, George W. Bush is driving that car -- and we are the passengers